October 19, 2015 – Heal

heal

We like to distract ourselves from pain and hurt and depression. Throwing yourself from one thing to another, from study, to business, to relationships, to the pursuit of success, to self-destructive behaviours…anything, anything to stop from feeling the full force of it. It hurts to feel it. Who wants to feel like that.

I don’t know. I think maybe we have to, eventually. To take away everything you’ve used to cover it up and just be able to look at yourself and see what you are without those things. I’m trying to do this, and honestly I don’t know what I’m gonna see. Probably just a scared kid. A scared kid with a lot of scars who needs a bit of love and encouragement, mostly from myself. When we strip us all back…I think we’re probably all just scared kids. I don’t know why we’re all so afraid to see that.

You’ve gotta let yourself feel it. Maybe then…hopefully then…we can start to heal.

I don’t mean to be cheesy, I hope I don’t come across like that. I hate generic cliche advice, mental health and depression are so much more complicated than that and I value each of you far more than to give you that. But I think this one is for me. I hope maybe it can help you too.

Take care guys. I hope you’re smiling today.

Penny

26 thoughts on “October 19, 2015 – Heal

  1. Once again, I feel your powerful message. I have been running from my husband’s death for 3 years, and i am exhausted, both mentally and physically. To see you put context around exactly what I’m doing to avoid facing the pain head-on is startling. Thank you for your honesty, and the compassion you show with Motivating Giraffe. xo

  2. I so needed this today. Thank you, Penny, for your LOVELY giraffe (does he have a name?) and his friends. The last few weeks and days have been particularly hard for me and I’ve been trying to feel an heal. Thank you so much.

  3. I did this. Took away everything I had been using to cope….I didn’t realize how much that was! Once I started, it gained momentum by itself until I was questioning every thought I had about everything in my life. As the layers were shed, I was starting to question if there even was a real ‘me’ beneath it all.

    There was/is.

    And it was a scared child, hiding beneath a lifetime of patches and doing anything to avoid that hurt, that fear.

    We sat together for a long time, just holding each other. Just letting ourselves feel, allowing ourselves to feel – a very new experience.

    I won’t say it was pleasant. It was not. It hurt…a lot.

    And I lost most things people consider ‘valuable’ in life to do this. Nice home, lots of ‘friends’, ‘good’ career, some family.

    It was worth it.

    I am actually, genuinely, truly happy now. With who I am. With life.

    With my new best friend…

    :)

    ——

    Thank you for your postings, Penny. They truly are motivating, and I always look forward to each of them. I actually get a little excited when I see Motivating Giraffe in my inbox!

    Take care,

    B

  4. As I posted on Facebook earlier… you seem to have a good head on your shoulders, and you both recognize problems and seem to have a good creative outlet for yourself. That and good family/friends for support is a recipe for getting through most struggles.

  5. It’s so true. No matter how hard it gets we never run away from the truth.
    Healing really begins when we are ready to face things up close.
    The monster you face is the one you’ll overcome.

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